Week I don’t even know anymore

It’s official: I am down 30 pounds overall. I haven’t done my measurements yet.

I haven’t had that kind of success. Ever. It feels really good. And I’ve done it in such a way that I’ve really worked on retraining my brain to make healthier choices with my food, while also trying to be more physically whenever possible.

Have I stayed 100% true every single day to the nutrition and exercise plans? Absolutely not. There have been too many recipes I haven’t liked and too many days that I just haven’t had the time to squeeze in the workouts (I don’t care what the advertising says — it takes more than 20-something minutes). Especially during the GI nightmare that swept through my house and then the surgical recovery period for the boys that pretty much immediately followed.

But 30. Freaking. Pounds.

Putting it mildly: Mommy has had a really hard time lately and we are all just lucky that I survived and only told one of my kids to f— off once. But he threw a perfectly good homemade burrito on the floor after specifically asking for it and that was just the straw that broke the camel’s back that day.

Anyway, despite all of those challenges, or perhaps thanks to the GI bug pushing my over my plateau (hah!), I continued on my journey and made it a milestone I haven’t seen in a really long time. I checked in at under 170 pounds this morning. That’s just absolutely amazing to me.

Where it started

I talk a lot about the fitness and nutrition program I was on before I got pregnant, and the success I found with that. If I’m remembering correctly, the lowest I got there was about 175 pounds. That was still pretty good for me. Of course, then I turned around and got pregnant with twins and got up to 210 pounds before hatching them from the baby forge.

And that’s just about where I was when I started trying to turn things around for myself. I got on the scale at an urgent when I was fighting a bad sinus infection or something and it horrified me: 199 pounds. And there were no babies growing inside of me. That was just not OK with me. I had to do something.

The first 10 pounds I managed to get off on my own, but it was really difficult and I kept going back to making bad choices. So we moved the elliptical and I tried that for a bit. Everything worked for very short periods, but nothing was sticking. Nothing was making my brain switch gears. That’s when I found Body Boss.

How my brain works now

I pushed myself to try everything at least once for the first few weeks and really stick to the exercise routine. I really needed to stop trusting myself to make choices and trust the experts who put these guides together if I was going get my brain to change the way it worked. And it finally happened.

I can have cheats and not go crazy and tank the whole day. Or week. I had a burrito the size of my head yesterday and I still kept within my goals for the day. That’s fairly monumental for me. It used to be that if I had like one cheat thing – a cookie or something – then I would just call the whole day a wash and go crazy. Then, of course, if that day is shot, and it’s close enough to the end of the week, I might as well just forget the whole rest of the week, too.

Amazing.

Oh, hello confidence

The other part of all this? I’ve gotten my confidence back. I dropped a couple sizes and feel good enough to start dressing cute again on my days off. I bought some yellow jeans, which I used to have a long time ago but sold because there was just no way I was ever going to fit into them again. So it’s great to feel good enough about myself again to want to go shopping. Beyond that, to feel like I can actually take the time to try things on in the store without shame.

It really is just amazing what a physical change can do for you mentally. Y’all know that I struggle in both departments and having success in one department seriously helps in the other.

Week 9: For real this time

With the hope of dealing with my headaches on the horizon, I was able to focus again on the other aspects of my health. Which I did, rather successfully, if I do say so myself.

I had a good blend of meal plan recipes and other non-diet food, but I still did pretty well overall with my calories every day in MyFitnessPal. Thurs can, once again, be attributed to cookie cake. I will never be sorry about that.

I also got (almost) all of my workouts out. I still need to squeeze in arms/abs/core day today, but I’ll count it as a win. I even took Darius out for a good long walk on Friday morning. It was a little over 2 miles and I even ran for about 3/4-mile. I haven’t felt able to do that in a long time. So that’s exciting.

Another testament to my growing physical fitness is that I was able to pick up and haul both boys upstairs at the same time when they were being holy terrors last night. They are about 45lbs. Each. So 90lbs getting carried upstairs against their will. And my heart didn’t feel like exploding afterwards. Yay!

All of this while working every day this week — not always full days, but I don’t really ever spend 6 days of the week at work. It’s another busy week coming, but (hopefully) not as busy. So I’m staying positive that I can keep up the motivation.

And maybe this week I will take Princess Crazy Pants (a.k.a. Lucy) for a walk. It seems only fair.

Week 9: Or not

I basically took this whole week off. From the food and the exercising. And life without headaches. Seriously, I’ve had one pretty much every day for the past 10 days. And I think technically it’s only been 2 or 3 different headaches.

I started seeing a new doctor this week and presented her with a variety of issues I’d like to *attempt* to address. First on the list was my headaches, which seem to be increasing in frequency. And I don’t get little sissy headaches. I get major migraines that last for 5-7 days on occasion.

I’m also hoping to address the fact that because of all the medications I take, I have zero libido. Zilch. Nada. I could join a convent and be OK with that aspect of the lifestyle. But I think Daniel would take issue with that. So I’d like to see if I can work on that problem without exacerbating my headache problem.

Step one was to take me off one of my medications – my birth control (NO, we are not going to have another baby(-ies)). So my uterus ate a lot of cookies this week. And cake. And various other things that count neither as a “superfood” or even remotely healthy.

So here we are. I gained a little this week (shocker) and felt way too bloated and time-of-the-monthy to take a picture Friday morning.

Stay tuned for Week 9: The Reboot .

Week 8: And the reason is you

I’m changing things up this week. Instead of writing about the specific successes and setbacks of the week, I wanted to write a little bit about my reason for doing this. The fitness plan, the nutrition plan, the writing… there’s a reason for it.

I do love a good meme. Especially when it is just so damn perfect.

Despite the technical goal of this program, I’m not doing this all to lose a certain amount of weight or get down to a certain size. Sure, I have those ideal numbers and sizes in the back of my head, but it’s not going to be a failure if I don’t quite hit them. This program is more about my brain than my body.

I hate the word “diet.” I’m not doing this because I like being on a diet. That’s why I’m usually quick to call it a nutrition and exercise program. It’s not about restricting calories or carbs or whatever else people are doing these days. It’s about making good swaps and utilizing “superfoods.” It’s about changing my mindset when it comes to food.

More importantly, the ultimate goal is to change mindset when it comes to me. As with basically my whole life now, my reason for doing this is three-part: Daniel, Lucas and Henry. I want to get back to being the confident, healthy person I used to be once upon a time. It was a fleeting time, but it was magical and I’d like my kids to know that person.

A little background

When I was a kid, I was I was the chubby kid sister and there were no shortages of people to point that out to me. One family member even said I was looking round one day when we went to visit. What kind of crap is that to say to pre-teen girl? Or really to anyone ever.

Needless to say, I grew up with a lot of body image issues and self-confidence issues. I could pontificate about all the ways that impacted me throughout my high school and college years (and even some time after college), but no one has time to read that kind of dissertation. Suffice to say that I’m acutely aware of how these things can impact a kid for long after childhood.

My reason for being

In the months before I got pregnant, I had gotten into a really good place physically and mentally. I managed to carry that through my pregnancy. And then post-partum life put all of that in the toilet. My head wasn’t on straight for at least a dozen reasons, and I needed to focus more on securing my mental health than my physical shape.

The two years or so after the boys were born, we struggled. A lot. Which you probably already know. But now we are back to a somewhat more even keel and things aren’t so dire (knocking on wood here). So that’s why I chose now to try to get myself back on the path to health.

The end goal

I want to shake as much of my body image and self-confidence issues as I can now so that my kids don’t think those kinds of things are normal and OK. I want my husband to have a happy wife. Not because of “happy wife, happy life” in the stereotypical sense. In the true sense that if we aren’t happy first with ourselves, how can we be happy with each other?

So yes, I post progress photos every week. And I write about how much weight I’ve lost (or gained) during the week. Or how well I stuck to the exercise routine and meal plan. Because those are tangible things that are easy to detail. But really, the goal is to feel less petrified to post those pictures, or even less petrified about the original before being up for the world to see.

Week 7: What does success really look like?

For most people on a weight loss program, success is defined solely by the number on the scale. That’s how it used to be for me, too. But is that really fair to ourselves?

I’m counting this past week as a success, even though I gained a little bit. Here’s why:

This was the second week of the actual 12-week program and included the timed challenge, just like the second week of the pre-training program. Guess what? I shaved my time by 3 minutes. Success.

I also chose to do some progress measurements and lost about a half-inch each off my waist and my thighs. This was particularly noticeable when I spent almost as much time hiking up my pants as monitoring vitals during a dental procedure this week. Success. (Also a success: my pants didn’t quite fall down during surgery. Yay drawstrings!)

Continue reading “Week 7: What does success really look like?”

Week 5: So. Many. Excuses.

Last Sunday, I went to urgent care because I was reasonably certain I had a sinus infection. Last time that happened, I ignored it until it became walking pneumonia. Seemed like that would be less than intelligent to let that happen again. Excuse No. 1.

The meal plan this week was really not my cup of tea. Death muffins (so named because of the use of a red chili), spicy tomato soup, lots of cabbage. While the death muffins weren’t nearly as diarrhea-inducing as I expected them to be, I still just didn’t really care for the meals this week. So I strayed. A lot. Excuse No. 2.

It was way too cold on my days off to walk my dogs. They went outside only long enough to go potty and then run right back inside. They even tried to bring in a bunny or two from the cold (bring in, try to eat, same thing). Excuse No. 3.

Clearly by now you can see what this all adds up to, right?

Continue reading “Week 5: So. Many. Excuses.”

Week 4: Hello, motivation

After a rocky Week 3, I made it up to myself and found my motivation again. And it paid off.

I lost about 7.5lbs. I know that’s a lot for one week, but that’s not entirely abnormal for the beginning of a weight loss journey. So yay me!

Continue reading “Week 4: Hello, motivation”

Week 3: The one where I fell off the wagon a bit

My 3-year-olds are currently fake crying at me because I turned off the TV and told them it was time to get up and get moving.

That pretty much sums up how this week went for me, too.

I’m not sure if it’s because I spent a day working the desk and was more sedentary, or if it was the lack of drinking enough water. But the struggle was real and I did not achieve all my eating and workout goals.

When doing any sort of weight loss program like this, a slump is usually inevitable. It just sucks it happened so early. And let’s face it, it is probably going to happen again. I still have 13 weeks to go.

Continue reading “Week 3: The one where I fell off the wagon a bit”

Week 2: Hold on, I have to go pee

I think the 2 pounds I lost this week might have all been water weight.

I kept going strong with week two and completed all five days of exercises. This week, Tuesday wasn’t a recovery day. It was challenge day. There is circuit that you do 24 reps of six different exercises and you time yourself. I’ll do it again during the second week of the actual program (still in pre-training) and then again towards the end of the program. The point is to see how much you’ve improved over the course of the (for me) 16 weeks.

I clocked in at 8 minutes 20 seconds.

Not my finest work, but I finished it and didn’t collapse. Yay!

Continue reading “Week 2: Hold on, I have to go pee”